simply having

Christmas Day was Cozumel. I haven't the faintest idea what Cozumel
actually means, but I do know that it's about an hour ferry ride east of
Playa, if by ferry you mean boat. For some reason when I think ferry I
have this mental image of a SF streetcar on the water, but that's probably
not correct; I've ridden five ferries now, and they were all just boats.

At any rate I felt it was a good-sized boat-ferry until we pulled up in
Cozumel alongside the hulking, behemoth atrocities that are cruise ships.
Oh my word. Huge. They are the skyscrapers of the sea.

At length we rented a Secret Service suburban with a dashboard reminiscient
of the Enterprise's. It purred past yellow and teal shops to drive south
through the jungle until we came upon our own private beach.


Conch shells, sun-tanning (or burning in my pale case), wading, sleeping,
reading, snorkeling... our only interruption was a man telling us not to touch
the coconuts. Oh, and the peacocks.

Harken, all you doubters: I went snorkeling. In the actual ocean. (Within
buoys, granted, but it's true.) I paddled about on the surface of the Atlantic
getting stung by tiny jellyfish and peering down through the green at
ridges of sand and seaweed. And, occasionally, clusters of FISH, who chill
at their metal hangouts with their stripey friends, bobbing with the tide.
(Rumors of an eel proved unfounded.) No sharks, and I only freaked out
once. SUCCESS.

Then I ate about a dozen shrimp fajitas under chameleon lights for
Christmas dinner, and also pickled jalapenos with chips. And then
CHURROS on our way to catch the ferry-boat back. More like queue to
catch the ferry back, actually, because the 7:00 Playa trip is a popular
one, and the blustery line stretched the length of the dock.

We should have realized then that this was a very special edition of the ferry:
the Choppy Waters Packed with People Ferry, where they hand out blue
plastic barf bags into which you can empty the contents of your stomach
free of charge. (The man directly behind us took advantage of this opportunity
more than once.) Our party, thanks to Dramamine, declined to participate in
this unexpected extra.

However, still having our dinners with us did not deter us in the least from
getting another round of churros once on shore, and the holiday crowds
were thick and lively as we wandered home.

Best Christmas ever? I think so.