and then...

We stayed in Playa del Carmen ("The Beach of Carmen?"), maybe an
hour south of Cancun, driving Mexican-style. It is the land of Beetles,
tequila, and corrugated metal. The buildings are all concrete and painted
in vivid shades of yellow, pink, orange or blue, with shops declaring their
wares from scripted walls ("Tacos y Internet"). Cities are surrounded
by a dense brush--if I threw a rock at this jungle wall it would undoubtedly
come bouncing back. And of course there is the ocean, but more about
that later.

We stayed in a Canadian's condo and occasionally ventured out to wander
Fifth Avenue with the throngs of other Christmas tourists in various stages
of beach wear and skin cancer.

I don't know why we tourists persist in wandering Fifth Avenue in face
of all the harassment we receive. "You want to buy jewelry?" "Almost free,
amiga, almost free." "Come see my shop--best prices in town!" I've been
addressed as miss, senorita, hermana, lady, ma'am, amiga, and once,
unforgettably, as a honeymooner, which gave my brother a minor stroke.
BUT. It is fun.

There is so much to see: restaurants of all types, from Libanese to Mayan;
the other tourists, in all their beachy glory; the body-painted Mayan in
front of the cigar shop, decked out in feathers; the WorldWalk PeaceTour
twins, the artisan spray-painter who finishes his masterpieces by setting
them on fire;

the shops full of blankets, kitschy jewelry, lewd T-shirts, jersey knock-offs,
figurines... the list goes on and on and on.

We'd go haggle for Barce kits or stuff our faces at a sit-down, explaining
our teetotaler ways to the maitre'd. Sam bought a straw fedora at a
Cuban cigar joint. Braided mannequin heads on stakes indicate "Braid
Raps" service. Salespeeps line the streets proffering tickets to various
locations and venues. (We skipped out on Coco Bongo, as two of the three
highlighted performers are dead.)

Sometimes I wonder why all shopping everywhere isn't like this. A little
chaos to liven up your trip to Wal-Mart? Something shady yet awesome?
Vicious haggling? Money well spent.